Secrets

This morning I woke up thinking about secrets. There are so many kinds of secrets some are the great kind like a proposal or a surprise party, but then there are those that are deep and dark. Recently I learned that I had a relative that had been adopted out and for decades no one knew about her. I was blessed and privileged to be the one she reached out to searching for her bio family. I am hoping I helped her find some of those answers and am always here to help if I can. However I wonder if it was a secret that needed to be kept I realize that I may not be one of those family members who should have known but there are those who should have that had no clue, is this right really? Secrets can either help or destroy as we all know but how do we decide which to keep and which to not. 

I myself hate secrets as my childhood was filled with don't tell your mom and dad kind of secrets. The kind that destroy the innocence of a child while hiding the guilt, and depravity of a teenager or adult. I unfortunately was one of those children who lost their innocence while those who took it have hidden their part in it. I have been privileged enough to confront 2 of my abusers however neither has accepted their part in the wrong committed. Instead of accepting their part one of them instead explained to me how they had learned it and laid the blame fully on their abusers which they did name to me and that they didn't know any better. However they were old enough at a point where they knew that it was wrong and continued to do it that was on them. And just so anyone that doesn't get it does now a 5 year old child cannot seduce anyone period.  

So I have become over the years the one to confront and expose anyone with those secrets. The lies are revealed and those responsible are held accountable even if it is only by me. Every time someone keeps those secrets there is the risk of another person being affected in the same way. And although I can't honestly say who else my abusers affected I can honestly say that even though I didn't know that it was wrong when it was happening to me I as an adult live with the guilt of what my keeping those secrets may have cost another child. I am also bothered by the fact that I know due to some of my memories that there were signs of the abuse that were ignored and that if instead had been handled then maybe some people wouldn't be affected now in ways that can't be changed. 

Secrets are not secrets to be kept when they destroy others period.